Highlights Of 2011

so the year is nearly up and what a year its been. for the most part i think ive blocked most of it out as i dont really remember it very well.
In January i was pretty much a mess as the anniversary of loosing baby Jack hit me really hard. me and the biker had a really bad month as he didnt really understand what i was going through.
February was disappointing. we were really hard up for cash so couldnt afford to do anything for valentines day. neither of us had the thought of just staying in, lighting some candles and watching a film. something to think about for next year though.
not really anything to say about march.
April brought a new life to our family. my beautiful niece was born on the bikers birthday with literally minutes to spare. he was so happy it was on that day. she was so small and perfect i wanted to steal her away.
in may my gorgeous son turned 4. it still makes me sad how fast he is growing up :(
nothing in June other than my birthday. and nothing was memorable about that unfortunately.
in July we went on holiday with my sister and mom. it was actually a really nice holiday we went to rhyl in wales and we stayed in a lovely big caravan. it was a really relaxing week and we absolutely loved it. ive got to say it was one of the highlights of the year.
august wasnt noteworthy
in September my little man started "big" school. he went to school in his uniform and i cried a little. did i mention how much i absolutely hate how fast he is growing up? this was also the moth that my world collapsed around me. me and the biker had been growing apart for a while and it all came to blows and i asked him to leave. i wanted to see if he would fight for me and stay. he didnt. i realised though i loved him way to much to let it end that way so i begged for him to come back. i cant live without him. he was only gone for 3 days but i thought we were ok....until he told me he kissed someone who has been after him for years. we had the mother of all rows that lasted for a whole weekend. i was so traumatised i had to go back onto my anti depressants. the night i found out i cut my arms to shreds and i thew it in his face that i had done it. i wanted to hurt him like he had hurt me. its taken a long time and alot of talking but we are back on track and i can say we are trying our best to make sure nothing like that ever happens again.
October was another bad month for us. i had another miscarriage. i was about 5 weeks along and it took a week to have all the tests done to confirm that the baby was gone. i named her Robyn
November was spent shopping for Christmas
December..........well it was Christmas. thats all i can really say about December. you can read my other post on Christmas if you wish to do so.

and thats it really. ive probably missed out quite abit because, for the most part, i can only seem to remember the bad parts. other than our holiday and my niece being born 2011 seems to have been a big pile of shit. im glad it will soon be over and im looking forward to seeing what 2012 will bring. i hope its nothing but good things