the future

im at a loss as to what to do next with ttc. do we carry on nd hope for that natural BFP? we've done it 4 times before although it did result in 3 losses.
do we go for IVF egg share? it would cost a bit of money and we would have to travel to London for it. and there is the possibility that it wont work. or it will work but then i lose the resulting baby.
do we go for foster acre? could either of us handle it emotional upheaval when the foster child finds adoptive parents? could we say goodbye again and again? could we cope with the problem children we could end up with?
do we go for adoption? could we give up on having another child that is biologically ours? could we go through all of the castle that is the adoption process? could the biker love a child that wasnt his biologically? again could we deal with the problems that could arise with an adopted child?

so many questions and i cant answer a single one of them. i think me and the biker need to sit down and have a long serios conversation about what the future holds for us as a family. what 2012 may hold for us.