considering in my last post i was pretty much on rock bottom i thought there was no lower or higher i could go. i thought i would be living in that hell forever. that all changed on tuesday.there was lower than rock bottom.
i was woken up at 7.15 in the morning with a text from the biker telling me he had slept with someone 3 times and she has a boyfriend who is a nutter so please dont tell anyone. the bottom fell from underneath me. and i had to hold everything in because i had to get monkey ready for school. i puched a wall then got him ready. when i was making his lunch i grabbed a knife and sliced my arm open a couple of times. nothing serios but i terrified myself.
i then messaged the girls boyfriend on facebook and told him what had happened and then i txt the biker and told him........ he went absolutely crazy and said i had ruined any chance we had of ever had of us getting back together. on the bus on the way home i rang him and sobbed at him down the phone. i must have looked like such an idiot. we talked and argued and talked some more and i agreed to message the boyfriend and tell him i had it wrong. turns out this man has homicidal tendancies.
he came round at 11 when he had finished work and we talked some more. i had looked her up on facebook and she is not pretty at all. he explained he went with the first person who said yes. he thought it would make him feel better. and it didnt. after about 2 hours of deep talking we came to the conclusion that we wanted to start again. from scratch.
so now he is taking me on our first date next week and making new memories.
it feels like its new again. there is a strange combination of familiarity and awkwardness and its nice. it means we still have something.
Just stumbled across this blog, hope all is going well. Do you still have my number? It's Ash from the church.
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