i might aswell write this all down because i dont really have anyone to talk to anyone else about what im going through.
im the bitch who fucked up so i have no right to feel so sad. or thats what i see in peoples eyes when i try to talk to them.
so here goes.
today has not been a good day. not good at all. i spent a good portion of today staring at busses trying to see if the biker is the driver. and being extremely upset when i didnt see him. then i used my so to see him. i told him that monkey had seen daddys car and wanted to know where he is. so he came to get him. then when he dropped him off at home again i asked if he wanted to put him to bed. then when he was upstairs i made him a coffee so he had to stay longer and talk to me.
that was a bad idea. i thought maybee if we sat down and talked face to face he would at least touch me or hold me. instead he told me that he had met up with a girl from facebook. and that my blog post yesterday brought everything back to the surface for him.
so by trying to get him closer to me ive just added a few more scars to my heart.
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