days of our lives

or rather my life
I've been pretty busy for the past few days and so have been neglecting my blogs (all 3 of them) but now I'm ready to catch up again

so the father in law has been told he needs to find somewhere else to live. his landlord is going through a messy divorce atm and the house that FIL lives in is in his wife's name. and she wants him out. so of course the biker offered him to stay at our house with the 2 kids until he finds somewhere if he hasn't by the time he has to leave. he still hasn't told me that he has offered. i only know because i went through his phone. i know i know i shouldn't have but its what i do. and it doesn't look like he is going to tell me either as i just asked him about it.

i feel like a pretty bad mom atm too. Monday and Tuesday R didn't go to school because i didn't get out of bed on time <<< ways to feel like a failure. as if i don't have a issue about failing already. the biker didn't help either. he has a tendency to talk to me and scold me like a child. he will stop doing that though.
i watched one born every minute the other night and had my first infertility tears of 2012. which was followed by my first infertility nightmare of 2012. i was in a room full of pregnancy test and they were all BFN :(

i cooked dinner for me, the biker, R, FIL, SIL & BIL on Sunday. it was really nice too and i cooked it all with my new cooker hehe. i do love my new gas cooker. i did manage to burn myself though. the handles get hot on the pans with this cooker whereas they didnt on the last cooker. i just picked up a pan full of peas and dropped it on the floor. we didnt have peas with our dinner and ive got a pretty nasty burn on my thumb.

every time i hear music from when i was younger or similar music it just puts me in such a good mood. i cant really explain it. it just brings back the memory of the feelings from back then. i was so happy. i had just found the biker and we were in that period of a relationship where you make everyone around you uncomfortable. when you have to touch each other all the time and kiss as ofter as possible. i wish it could be like that all the time. why does it have to fade? I'm sat here listening to music now and I'm just so happy i could burst.

although that will be gone shortly as we have to go to the mother in laws house and drop off her birthday present. someone hand me a drink please. alcoholic drink preferably