like at the moment im quite sad because the biker is working untill 2am, i didnt get much sleep last night as i had my neice sleep the night (and she does not sleep through yet) i forgot to eat properly and now im watching babies being born on the tele because i seem to hate myself. im so low at the moment and i hate it. also AF is in full flow with clots and its stupidly heavy. im in such a bad bloody mood
but earlyer i was in a really good mood. i was playing with my neice, having a laugh with my mom and i spent most of the afternoon with the biker. i was in such a lovely mood all day. and now its just nosedived
im watching how much pain these women are having there babies and i just wish i was there. i wish it was me in pain. all that pain would be worth it. im in quite an IF funk now.
i dont know why i put myself through this program i really dont. i just want to eat a huge bar of chocolate and cry my eyes out :(
why cant i just have my baby to hold in my arms? why cant it be me?
im going to try and snap myself out of it now and maybee eat something healthy..........maybee not hehe
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