WTF is going on?

to update those who havnt been reading. last week tuesday i got a positive on a home pregnancy test. a day later i started bleeding and thought it was all over. 

well friday i got myself very drunk after a day or dark thoughts of self harm and suicide. hashed it out with the biker about what was going on in my head and basically pushed him further away. that was a fun day (sarcasasm  btw)

so i went to see the doctor on monday. she felt very bad for me. she said that bleeding in early pregnancy can be normal but because of my history she didnt want to raise my hopes. so of course, she had raised my hopes. i left with the words "can be normal" ringing in my ears.

today i went out and brought another test. a pack of 2. and when i got back from dropping R off at school i peed on the pee stick..............and it was still positive. and not a stupidly faint, can barely see unless in a certain light positive. it was a strong second line. 

so what the fuck is going on? 

there is too much blood to be implantation but at the same time i have heard of women having periods when pregnant.

i dont want to let the biker know i have even a little bit of hope because he thinks im being stupid as it is.

am i setting myself up for more heartache? 

the doctor didnt want to send me for a scan as its too early to see either way but she didnt even suggest getting blood tests done.a few of my tweeps have commented saying i should have been offered that at least.

im gong to do another test on friday and if its the same or darker then im going for another docs appointment and asking for bloods and a scan.